


RC #333 Interlude #1/Mission #0: Bitter Memories

by SkarmorySilver



Series: Protectors of the Plot Continuum: Response Center #333 [7]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender, Danny Phantom, Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types, Protectors of the Plot Continuum, The Incredibles (2004)
Genre: Backstory, Bad Biology, Crossover, Exposition, I'll show myself out, In which Sarah still hates Ripper and for a darn good reason, Interlude, Poor Poor Lapis, Self-Insert, She's all left now, She's not all right anymore, Sporking - Freeform, badfic, old shame
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-07
Updated: 2018-05-07
Packaged: 2019-05-03 08:56:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14565501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SkarmorySilver/pseuds/SkarmorySilver
Summary: In which Lapis finally comes clean.





	RC #333 Interlude #1/Mission #0: Bitter Memories

**Author's Note:**

> \- **Copyright Disclaimer:** The PPC and all related property belong to Jay and Acacia. The _Pokémon_ franchise belongs to Nintendo, Satoshi Tajiri, and Game Freak. All other canons and continua mentioned belong to their respective owners. Agents Sarah Squall, Cupid Carmine, Lapis Lazuli, and Velociripper belong to me, as does Panacea. Sister January belongs to goat_lover4444 and was temporarily recruited to the PPC by myself. Alex Dives belongs to Iximaz and foofooman3.  
>  The fic being sporked, ["Pokemon Iron and Copper"](http://fawkestheskarmory.deviantart.com/gallery/11640007/Pokemon-Iron-and-Copper), sadly belongs to myself a.k.a. [FawkesTheSkarmory](http://fawkestheskarmory.deviantart.com/), and all of the fanmade Pokémon featured were originally designed by [darksilvania](http://darksilvania.deviantart.com/) and now belong to their respective owners.
> 
> \- **Betas:** Edhelistar, Voyd, and Iximaz.
> 
> \- **Rating:** K+/PG - Aside from some explicit language, Lapis' retelling of her tragic backstory is family-friendly.
> 
> \- **Original Posting Date:** April 11, 2015
> 
> \- **Note:** This interlude occurs immediately after ["A Feudal Nightmare"](https://docs.google.com/document/d/1z20BzMn--05nnp6T2A9gP3zkn-4ggQxAuBivb6CE-7o/edit?usp=sharing).
> 
> \- [Original Document](https://docs.google.com/document/d/1AQgzRs8pXe_2EFSDVUMzwk_GWXb3qp6LxFp9KdkoRv4/edit)

****According to Murphy’s Law, anything that can go wrong will. The DoSAT isn’t an exception to this law, and it’s always worth preparing for the possibility that some of your priceless technology will be damaged.

It’s not every day, however, that a semi-trailer truck ends up flying through a portal and crashing into the lab at 88 miles per hour.

For one young _Deinonychus_ , who had been paying a visit to the department at the time, it would be the start of a weekend he would never forget.

By the time the dust had settled, the technicians peeked out from under their desks to see that the truck had plowed headlong through most of the work desks in front of it and into the far wall of the lab. The front of the truck had smashed a ten-foot hole in the wall, and shrapnel and machine parts were strewn all over the place.

The back of the trailer opened up, and five anime-styled and _very_ shaken canons plus one two-tailed cat stumbled out. Instantly, they were swarmed by technicians, who promptly began bombarding the very confused _InuYasha_ gang (namely, Inuyasha, Kagome, Miroku, Sango, Shippo, and Kirara) with questions about what had just happened, angry remarks about the damaged technology, and other sundry things.

The feathered dinosaur agent, however, had no such concerns – the most he had to complain about was that the huge noisy monster had nearly run him over on its way in. Instead, his attention was drawn to the front cab.

He was momentarily distracted when a blond teenaged boy next to him let out an anguished howl. “I can’t believe this!” he cried. “I’ve been working on that freeze gun for weeks now!” He grabbed at his hair, dragged his hands down his face, and sighed. “Ugh, this sucks.” That was when he noticed the dinosaur next to him. His eyes went huge and he edged away, saying, “Please tell me you’re an agent and not an escapee from the DMFF.”

The red-feathered raptor looked at the technician, cocking his head curiously. “I happen to be an agent in the DF. As long as the order I placed today has remained unharmed, or can otherwise be repaired if it was damaged, I will leave this lab quite satisfied. And who are you?”

“Alex Dives. You?”

“Velociripper. Or Ripper for short, if you prefer that. Anyway, why are the rest of your pack-mates focusing on the herd this metallic beast apparently swallowed? There seems to be a scent of fermented plant material coming from its head.”

The two of them went over to the cab of the Super Truck and opened the door. A brown-haired angel in a pink toga lay slumped in the driver’s seat, his face buried in the airbag.

Ripper gently grasped the hem of the angel’s toga with his teeth and tugged lightly at the driver. The unconscious agent promptly fell out of the cab and right on top of the two, and a moment later, two more two-tailed cats, much smaller than Kirara, exited the vehicle as well.

“Oof! H-he’s heavy!” Alex cried, pushing him upright. A moment later, he got a good look at his face, and recognized him at once. “ _Cupid?_ ”

Ripper looked at him in surprise. “You know him?”

“Yeah. He and his partners visited us once to get a Shrinking Machine. Said it was for something in the _Godzilla_ continuum… But why would he drive a truck straight into this lab?”

“A truck? That’s what this creature is called?”

“Yeah. And it’s pretty big, too.” Alex suddenly grinned. “Hope it’s got some sweet Sue tech.”

Cupid giggled a little in his sleep. The mini-nekomatas, in a bid to wake him up, had taken to licking the exposed toes of his large, sandal-clad feet.

The raptor agent and the technician looked down at Windtunnel and Windscar, who promptly looked up at them with pleading expressions.

“We can worry about this ‘truck’ beast at a later time,” said Ripper. “For now, we need to return this winged one to the rest of his packmates. Where are they, anyway?”

A sudden chill made the agents and all the technicians look around. A white-haired, middle-aged woman in a cloak had entered the lab.

“I heard there were some canons who need to be taken in,” Sister January said to the room at large. “What happened?”

“I don’t know,” Inuyasha tried to explain. “One moment, I was fighting Naraku and this big turtle thing alongside Matt, and next thing we knew, these kids attacked him.”

“We ran for it after that,” said Sango, “and then someone showed up in Matt’s truck. Everything went downhill from there.”

“Matt?” asked January. Ripper and Alex appeared next to the canons just then, with Cupid slumped over the dinosaur’s back. January gave a little gasp as she realized that something had gone very, very wrong.

“Hang on. So Cupid saved you?” she asked the canons, who looked at the drunken angel in confusion but also a growing sense of gratitude.

“Apparently,” replied Ripper. “He is terribly intoxicated, however, and wounded too. He needs to be taken to Medical. May I ask where the rest of his pack is?”

“Funny you should mention that,” January replied. “I was told that Medical received a surprise visit from Sarah Katherine Squall a few minutes ago. She said something about her partner losing her right hand in a battle. They are probably there as we speak.”

Ripper’s yellow eyes widened in surprise. He _knew_ that girl, no doubt due to the fact that she’d tried to kill him at least once since they’d escaped their homefic. But he had to return Cupid to her and her group, no matter what.

“I can take him there,” said Ripper. “But before I go, Alex… How is my order?”

“Wait, what?”

“I sent in some of my old homefic cybernetics this morning, with the intention of having them reconstructed into a canonical weapon. A Tau Cannon from _Half-Life_ , I believe.”

“Oh! Uh, hang on a sec… Makes-Things?”

“Go away! What is it?!”

“You heard the dino! I think he wants a Tao Cannon or something…”

“A _Tau_ Cannon,” Ripper corrected. “Given the delay caused by today’s incident, I would like to know how soon it will be before it is complete.”

“You’ll be able to pick it up tomorrow afternoon,” Makes-Things’ voice called from under his desk. “Now, go away! And don’t drive any more trucks into this lab, all right?!”

The raptor gave him a questioning look, but didn’t argue.

“I can take it to you myself once it’s done,” Alex offered.

“Thank you, human,” Ripper said, bowing his head at him before turning to January. “And it is good to meet you as well, whomever you are.”

“Please, call me Sister January,” the cloaked woman replied with a warm smile. “Anyway, my co-workers and I have canons to attend to. Best of luck to the recovery of your inebriated friend and his partners.”

Ripper didn’t exactly consider Cupid a friend, but he nodded to her anyway and headed out of the lab, leaving the FicPsych worker to address the canons.

“What was that all about?” asked Kagome.

“I’m sure you have all had a very bad time,” January replied. “I am also certain, however, that we will be able to take care of it by the end of this week. This way, please.”

 

* * *

 

_Meanwhile, at Medical…_

 

The first thing Lapis saw when she opened her eyes was a warm light hovering over her head. A moment later, she realized that she was lying on some kind of mattress.

And another moment after that, she also realized that Sarah was sitting in a chair next to her bed. The Super agent was apparently sleeping, but her eyes and cheeks were puffy and red, as though she had been crying (which was technically true). Though Sarah was shirtless, her bosom had been rather cleverly bandaged, no doubt due to her broken ribs.

Lapis’ right arm, or what was left of it anyway, had been bandaged up. She looked at the stump where her hand had once been, and noted that there was an IV attached to her upper arm. Her hair was now a solid royal blue, with two _odango_ and pigtails tipped with a paler grayish blue. She still had her shark’s teeth, but she felt a slight stinging feeling in her gums, as though someone had attempted dental surgery on her while she was still unconscious.

She wanted to cry, but found that she couldn’t. Especially not any Single Tears like she used to. That only made the weight of what she had just done all the more painful.

The noise of two people entering the ward made her look up, and stirred Sarah from her slumber as well. Panacea, the angel nurse, was the first to enter the ward. Behind her, something covered in blood-red feathers also stepped through the doorway, carrying an unconscious brunette angel. Two mini-nekomatas also followed in their wake.

Ripper moved around the nurse and turned so his broadside and Cupid’s legs were facing the group, and let out a loud snort to get Sarah’s attention.

The teenage Super took one look at the _Deinonychus_ agent, and instantly sprang to her feet, her fists at the ready.

“I thought I told you to _stay the Hell away from me_ , you psychotic mutant _flamingo!_ ” she shouted.

“I am not here to challenge you for territorial rights,” Ripper replied. “I can assure you that I cast aside my former motivations a _long_ time ago. I’m just here to return your fellow pack-mate.”

He shifted his weight a little, and Cupid slid off his back and onto the floor, the impact waking him up in less than a second.

“DAH! I’m awake I’m awake!” he cried, sitting up straight. Then he turned to see Ripper and yelped, flinching away from him in surprise. Before he could react, however, Windtunnel and Windscar rushed up to him, bowling him over like kittens.

Sarah ran over to the angel as well, and the minis scattered as she hugged him tight. “You’re okay!” she cried.

“You can say that,” he replied, struggling a little. “Ow… cracked rib… can’t… breathe…”

“Sorry! Sorry,” she said, helping him up to his feet.

The obvious question fought its way past Cupid’s Bleeport-induced hangover. “How’s Lapis?”

“I’m… I’m fine,” the blue-haired girl said weakly, flashing her six rows of teeth in a nervous smile. “Really, I am.”

“Based on her scent,” said Ripper, “it seems as though she has recently recovered from some kind of illness. Not in the medical sense, no – an illness of character and writing. I’m curious as to what happened. Aside from her damaged front limb, I mean.”

Panacea, who had remained silent up to this point, answered that question. “We found some residual traces of glitter while sampling her blood for signs of infection,” she said. “We thought it was due to the wound caused by the Stu, but it turns out that some of the glitter was her own. It’s odd, because we thought we were thorough when we extracted the glitter from her in the first place. I’ve been told that Medical certainly was thorough in the case of this creature here,” she added, waving a feathered wing towards Ripper.

The _Deinonychus_ felt Sarah’s glare boring into him, and he shrugged uneasily. “When that replacement you called your friend fed me to King Krok, only most of my glitter was digested, not all of it. When the mosasaur regurgitated my skeleton, some glitter remained and allowed me to regenerate, albeit badly. The Medical department de-glittered me completely after my first training mission for the sake of my health.”

“Then why didn’t they do the same with me?” asked Lapis, sitting up and propping her back against her headboard.

“Negligence?” Cupid suggested. “Maybe they thought you were developed enough as a character that a thorough extraction wasn’t necessary.”

“I _know_ that you weren’t the biggest threat in our homefic after all,” Sarah growled at the raptor agent, “but that doesn’t mean I’m gonna forgive you for all the bullshit you’ve brought on me and my family!”

“Nor can I forgive myself,” Ripper replied sadly. “I hope you would be happy to know that your brother and I are on better terms than we once were, though. Let us not forget that almost everything that happened to us back there was our author’s fault.”

“I can’t care less about what you think, or what Adam thinks. He can keep you. But your deception nearly got me _killed_ , for Thor’s sake! It was only thanks to Adam that I’m still here! And don’t tell me you’re sorry, because that’s not gonna make up for the fact that I almost got gutted by a goddamn _Spinosaurus_!”

“I don’t need to apologize to you,” Ripper hissed, baring his teeth. “I’ve already reconciled with my author’s persona for the things I did. Isn’t that enough for everyone? I understand your reasons for being upset, but pursuing an old grudge is not going to solve anything now that we’re cooperating against the same prey!”

“He’s right, you know,” said Lapis. “I used to be upset with the PPC for irrational reasons myself. But you guys saved my life, and I can’t thank you enough for that.”

Sarah rounded on Lapis this time. “Before I say that you’re welcome, what the Hell was with you and your plot holes back there?! Your carelessness practically destroyed the world of the badfic! I cried myself to sleep thinking that Cupid and the canons hadn’t made it…”

“Hey now, at least I managed to get rid of the Stu thanks to that uncanonical dimension coming apart!” Cupid protested.

“That doesn’t change the fact that Lapis… gosh, how do I say this politely… FUCKED UP ON AN UNIMAGINABLE SCALE!” Sarah shouted, stamping her foot with enough force to crack the Generic Floor beneath her. “I know she didn’t _mean_ to do anything stupid, but it won’t make a fucking difference to the Flowers, because she nearly got us _killed_ , for fuck’s sake! I’m surprised they let you keep your goddamn plot holes for _this_ long,” she added harshly, directing this remark at her blue-haired partner.

Lapis shrank into her bedcovers, wearing an expression of shame. Below her, the minis cowered under the hospital bed at Sarah’s outburst.

“Wasn’t it the mistake of the guys Upstairs to drop that badfic on us in the first place?!” said Cupid, rubbing his aching forehead. “If they’d known that the agents involved have to face off against someone as ridiculously overpowered as Matt, they would’ve sent the badfic to the DMS instead!”

“Or the DF, in case I got hungry,” Ripper added. At Sarah’s angry look, he continued, “The point is, untanglers are not assassins, and they certainly aren’t good predators. I am very surprised that the Flowers sent such an inexperienced DIC pack as you three after a quarry as dangerous as the one you apparently faced.”

“Look, _Fluffy-Butt,_ I handled four missions before transferring to DIC and three more before this one! So don’t call me inexperienced!” Sarah snapped at Ripper. “That said, though, I didn’t think we’d face off against a God-mode Stu either, especially not as soon as we did.”

“Getting back to the matter at hand, so to speak,” said Panacea, “we’ve extracted the remaining glitter from Lapis. We can’t regrow her hand, though – some of the Stu’s glitter did get in her wound, after all, and we had to cauterize the injury to prevent it from spreading. Likewise, we can’t change her teeth to a human set. We tried, but her residual glitter must have altered them permanently. I’m… I’m so sorry.”

“What about her plot holes?” asked Cupid. “Will she be able to create them again?”

The angel nurse hesitated. “No,” she said finally. “And it would be for the better. However, given how much she uses teleportation on a daily basis, we believe we can provide a substitute.”

“Like what, sticking an RA on my arm stump?” Lapis asked dryly.

“The DoSAT has offered to provide some detachable prosthetics, which we hope will help you perform the Duty,” Panacea replied. “We don’t know if we can remove enough of the glitter to provide a permanent prosthetic, but I don’t think we can guarantee anything. Glitter behaves in its own strange way.”

“At least portals don’t destroy the Word World,” Sarah snarled, sitting back on her chair and folding her arms. Then she looked at Lapis, her expression turning slightly less angry. “I’m genuinely curious now – where _did_ you get your abilities in the first place?”

Lapis sighed in despair, looking up towards the ceiling. She knew she had to answer all of the questions her partners had for her sooner or later.

“Are you guys still mad at me?” she asked. “If so, I guess it’s time for me to tell you something I should’ve told you a long time ago.”

“We’ve only known each other for less than a month,” said Cupid.

“Yeah, well, since we first met,” Lapis replied. “Anyway… You’ve asked me a few times where I come from, why I had these tendencies, and what happened to me when I first joined. I guess you deserve to know.”

The agents all looked at her, puzzled but expecting an answer.

“Go on,” said Sarah.

The blue-haired girl looked into the eyes of each of her friends, plus Ripper and the nurse. She felt uncertain, scared even, but she knew she had to explain herself. So she sat up against the headboard again, took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and began her story.

 

* * *

 

_Seven years ago…_

 

The blue-haired girl’s day had started out ordinarily enough. A chorus of bird Pokémon greeted the dawn and the start of the fic. In her sleep, she began narrating: **_"Sunrise over my homeland. This is a time for man and beast alike. It is a time for anyone and everyone to get up and get going. And a time for life to start anew in this beautiful world of Pokemon."_ **

Outside of her house, an uncanonical bird Pokémon, an eagle with feathers of steel, attacked a flock of canonical bird Pokémon. The girl continued narrating as the scene moved towards her room.

**_"My name is Lapis Lazuli. But you can call me Pi. It's my tenth birthday, and I'm about to become an official Pokemon trainer."_ **

Then she woke up. A knock on the door roused her awake, and a teenage boy peeked in, a lizard-like fakemon (a fanmade Pokémon) known as a **Frimbella** sitting on his shoulder.

 

> **_"I used to live at home with my parents, but ever since I joined the Pokemon Research Guild and Training Academy, I have come to live with Andrew, my very best friend. He's one of the assistants to Professor Parcel, who used to teach at my school when I was younger."_ **

**"Good afternoon, Sokka,"** Lapis said sleepily, rubbing her brilliant sapphire-blue eyes. **"How's Aang and Katara, have they made peace with the Fire Nation yet?"**

 **"Eat up, buddy,"** Andrew replied, offering her a plate of blue breakfast tarts. **"You don't wanna starve on your tenth birthday."**

A few moments later, she realized what this meant. She was going to become a Pokémon trainer! In her excitement, she dashed downstairs, but not before blurting out the episode’s title: **Ep 1: All Roads Lead to Kroel!**

A group of people were waiting for her, and the fic identified them as Katara, Sokka, Toph, and Zuko. After some conversation with the canons and getting to know their fakemon, she rushed outside, grabbed her bicycle, and headed off to Professor Parcel’s lab with Andy in tow.

Once there, she met up with the professor, a tall but stocky bearded man in a scientist’s garb, as well as Aang, the Avatar. Under Andy’s guidance, the canon selected his fakemon. But before Lapis could do the same, a group of Pokémon poachers attacked, stealing all of the fakemon… and Aang along with them.

On the way to the place where the poachers had hid the canon, the canons got held up when Lapis tripped over one of the fakemon that had escaped the kidnapping, a seahorse-like creature known as a **Hiponea**. Suddenly she found that Andy was able to speak to Pokémon. Then his eyes turned blue, distracting Lapis for a bit.

Just then, Aang arrived, having escaped the poachers, and the attention returned to the matter at hand. **"Uh, all right then," says Pi sweatdropping. "Where exactly are we supposed to go again?"**

After trying to break into the building, during which Aang and Lapis got imprisoned, Lapis and company were broken out by their Pokémon, and the ensuing fight with some of the poachers was interrupted by the timely arrival of the Hiponea, who beat up the guards himself. The kids grabbed the fakemon and ran.

Before they could escape, however, they ran into the ringleader of the poachers, a man named **Alex** . Andy showed up and engaged in battle with him using fakemon of his own, long enough for Lapis to escape; however, she ended up getting cornered by a minotaur fakemon, a **Taurymanox** , and a group of Zangoose that the poachers had been using.

 **A rending screech of metal resounds as the ceiling pipes rip and tear, pouring forth water. The girl's irises become a vibrant glowing turquoise as she rises shakily to her feet. The water starts moving erratically, swirling in a circle around her as she telepathically manipulates it, forcing back her foes.** With one swift movement, she made her escape, riding a wall of water, and ended up sprawled in front of Andy and Aang. Alex, meanwhile, made a quick escape.

As the kids and the professor left the building, they didn’t know that someone else was watching them. From behind a random corner, a dark-haired Asian teenager continued dictating the fanfic, sensing that he was nearing the end of his first episode. He smiled to himself. He was going to have a lot of fun writing this thing.

 

* * *

 

“So you had hydrokinetic powers back then?” asked Ripper.

“Yeah, I did,” Lapis replied, “but I didn’t like to use them because they reminded me of my past as a badfic character.”

“Having powers doesn’t necessarily make you Speshul,” said Sarah. “I’m capable of dealing with my own pretty well, and they’ve saved my life more times than I can count.”

“Yeah, but in a Pokémon badfic?” asked Cupid. “People usually don’t have supernatural abilities unless they’re Ash Ketchum.”

“Good point,” Lapis agreed with an apologetic shrug, before continuing her tale.

 

* * *

 

Episode 2 began with Andy and Professor Parcel meeting with Ash Ketchum, the true _Pokémon_ protagonist, and entering the lab… only to find that it had been ransacked. After a brief pause in the fic to display the title sequence for _Avatar: The Last Airbender_ , Lapis and Aang met up with the group as well, and realized that all of the Pokémon fossils in the lab had been stolen.

The group headed off to find the stolen fossils, during which they encountered the steel eagle Pokémon again – a **Fhuriegle** , which promptly snatched up Ash’s Pikachu and one of the fakemon that Aang had been given in the previous episode, a winged monkey known as a **Volarimp**.

The episode then diverged into two different stories, one showing Pikachu’s adventures with the fakemon, and one with Ash, Lapis, and their friends attempting to stop the resurrection of a dangerous prehistoric fakemon, a pterosaur-like Rock/Dragon-type known as a **Primigon**.

The two stories converged when the Primigon escaped and started ransacking the town they were in. After a fierce final battle, Andy managed to defeat the fakemon, but not before losing his talisman, an artifact which he considered important.

 _Why would this thing be so special to Andy?_ a small voice asked in the back of Lapis’ head, but she brushed it aside as the group headed off to their next adventure.

In Episode 3, Andy explained his backstory. **"Sixteen years ago, the major cities of Kroel weren't exactly the safest places to be. They were hotbeds for fighting, maiming, and most dreadful of all, killing."**

He then went on to explain about an uncanonical **Team Plasma** , not knowing that in a few years’ time, there would be a canonical team of the same name. They attacked his mother, **Amelia** , while she was **several weeks pregnant**. She had the baby extracted, but the lab they were in was later attacked, and the embryos kept there were all destroyed… except for one, which had landed in a puddle of blood from another fakemon.

 

* * *

 

“Wow. Really?” asked Sarah. “How does an embryo survive _that?_ Heck, how does an embryo survive not being in a nutrient-rich life-sustaining substrate?! That makes no sense to me at all, and I was cloned in a fucking _holding tank_ , for crying out loud!”

“The logic of Andy’s backstory makes even less sense than extracting DNA from a mosquito preserved in amber and using it to create a dinosaur,” Ripper agreed.

“And immersing an embryo in blood may be harmful,” added Panacea, idly checking Lapis’ IV. “The immune system would react violently to a foreign object.”

“I didn’t think about all that myself,” Lapis replied. “I just thought it was some kind of tall tale. But I was wrong. As it turns out, the Pokémon blood not only kept him alive somehow, but also gave him some… _strange_ properties.”

“Like what?” Cupid teased. “Wings? Claws? Pokémon attacks?”

“All of the above,” Lapis replied, her voice forlorn. “I found that out when Andy fought Team Rocket near the end of that episode. I too thought it made no sense, but then I just… forgot about it.”

“I would’ve charged for all of that history had I been there,” said Sarah. “It makes no sense! And why would there be canonical characters from TV shows and stuff involved in a Pokémon badfic?!”

“Any herd of canons placed in unfamiliar territory would be unable to adapt to the new setting without a valid excuse,” Ripper agreed, earning a dirty look from the Super agent.

“The author wanted it,” Lapis admitted. “He felt entitled to do it. It was just like with you two and your homefic, come to think of it.”

Sarah and Ripper exchanged looks of mutual disdain, but let her continue.

“Any other canons that got involved?” asked Cupid.

“Danny Phantom joined our group after the fourth episode,” said Lapis. “And we met a couple of other Nicktoons over the next few episodes. But that wasn’t the craziest part…”

 

* * *

 

Near the beginning of Episode 8, Andy revealed a bombshell to Ash: that he technically didn’t need the talisman to speak to Pokémon. He was, in fact, an avatar of a legendary Pokémon: the king of the bird Pokémon, **Zizclone**.

Ash denied this at first, but then he decided not to question it. After a trip to a haunted mausoleum, including several ticklish encounters with a few more fakemon and some fights against the Flying Dutchman from _Spongebob Squarepants_ , of all things, Ash and his friends managed to retrieve Andy’s talisman and continue on their way – though not before finding out that the winged teen was a Pokémon Ranger as well as a mutant.

The mysterious stranger tailing the group chuckled at the inanity of that episode. His tickle-fetish material always gave him a laugh.

The next two episodes were even more intense. For one, Episode 9 started off with Ash’s team confronting a bunch of thugs, who were sent flying by a Fire-type fakemon that belonged to Andy’s love interest, Violet Parr.

 

* * *

 

Sarah promptly burst out laughing. “Goddammit, why does Violet get _all_ the boys?!” she managed to choke out. “I had trouble with my own boyfriend, for Pete’s sake!”

“Maybe you aren’t trying hard enough,” said Cupid.

“Says the guy who tried _too_ hard,” replied the Super agent, poking him in the ribs. The angel, of course, flinched away from her, laughing as well.

“Can we get back to the story?” asked Lapis. “I haven’t even gotten to the good stuff yet!”

“What kind of good stuff?” asked Sarah. “Were you an avatar too?”

Lapis stared up at the ceiling again, and her eyes closed in shame. “Yes.”

 

* * *

 

The blue-haired girl headed into her first contest in high spirits, and was going to face off against Violet pretty soon. Unfortunately, she hit a snag – far from the shy, unconfident, and caring individual that the _Incredibles_ canon really was, _this_ Violet was aggressive and demeaning. Had she been influenced by Andy’s behavior? Lapis couldn’t tell. All she knew was that she was not going to have a good time.

Nonetheless, she performed admirably in the opening rounds, despite concerns that she’d break down in front of the audience. But the celebrations were cut short when Violet threatened her, right at the end of the episode.

After that, the battle rounds came. Violet floored Jessie easily, while Lapis managed to make her way through as well. Then came the time when they faced each other in the finals.

That was when everything went horribly wrong.

In the heat of the battle, Violet ordered her Fire-type fakemon to aim a Fire Blast at Lapis’ Hiponea, who deflected the blast with a Hammer Arm attack. Unfortunately, this sent the fireball towards the blue-haired girl, who finally snapped.

The pool in the center of the contest stage exploded, her outfit changed, and something took over her mind almost completely. Where the girl stood, a giant waterspout now swirled like a great maelstrom.

 

> **Before the eyes of Andy and Vi, their friend has completely transformed. Her hair now hangs in a curtain of ocean-blue around her, rippling like the stormy sea. Her eyes gleam with malice, and when her lips part in a menacing grin, they reveal six rows of razor-sharp serrated teeth - more teeth than even in the Sharpedo that Taz creamed in the semi-finals.**
> 
> **"LAPIS!!!" Andy screams.**
> 
> **But Pi merely cackles, and her voice sounds different now, more grown-up, more silky, and more evil. 'You have defied the Queen of the Sea,' she purrs. 'You show no respect for the legends of old. And for that, Violet Parr, it is I, Leviathide, who shall have you destroyed!!!' With another bone-rattling roar, Pi starts floating in the air, surrounded by her whirlpool, as the ghastly water-sculpture of Leviathide swoops at the young Super, who screams and backs off in terror.**

Andy proceeded to fight Lapis, who had been possessed by the uncanonical legendary Water-type, and with Violet’s help, he defeated her and returned her to normal.

That night, Andy and Violet had an argument, culminating in the revelation that Lapis was the avatar of Leviathide. Overhearing this, the blue-haired girl ran off in tears. Eventually, Violet followed her and consoled her, apologizing for her behavior and explaining about a friend of her’s who had apparently been killed by Team Plasma. The episode ended with Ash’s group saying goodbye to Violet and heading off towards **Cauldron City** , where the first gym was waiting.

As the bus they were boarding left, a figure watched them from afar. His face was now scowling. Had he gone too far this time?

 

* * *

 

“Hold up,” said Sarah. “You flipped out and tried to kill Violet because she was Suefluenced into being an asshole?”

“And you got possessed by an uncanonical legendary?” asked Cupid.

“And somehow, you and the other straggler never managed to hurt anyone in that battle, nor were there lawsuits regarding any damages you may have caused?” Ripper added.

“That’s correct,” Lapis said sadly. “But face it – my homeworld was doomed anyway.”

“It was?!” her partners cried out simultaneously.

“Yeah. I’ll get to that part soon. Just give me some time…”

 

* * *

 

Ash’s gym battle proceeded much like in an actual anime episode, following an attempt by Aang to earn one as well that ended in failure due to an unintentional act of sabotage on Team Rocket’s part. Episode 15 started off with the kids hearing a report on a mysterious figure known as **The White Mask.**

**"The White Mask?" asks Pi. "Wasn't he the guy who made headlines several months ago when he killed that one Pokerus lord from the south?"**

The group decided not to question his presence. After an encounter with Team Rocket and a talking fakemon, Aang and Lapis ended up in **Palkia’s Spring** , where the Avatar decided to reveal his backstory to her. Needless to say, it was a rather butchered retelling of the entire _Avatar_ series, with Pokémon substituted for the animals of his home continuum, and the revelation that both he and Zuko were avatars of legendaries.

The dark-haired watcher facepalmed at this. He hadn’t written Aang’s history well enough to be part of a reasonable AU.

The episode continued with the thugs that Violet had defeated earlier – rebranded as three pirates named Eddie, Johnny, and Willy – attempted to destroy Palkia’s Spring. Lapis unloaded, sending the pirates flying, but was stopped from attacking her friends by Aang, the avatar of Arceus in this case.

The next two episodes were devoted to her trying to master her powers, including trying to cook. Lapis, of course, failed miserably. Along the way, they also ran into another bit character, Niko, who had a six-legged Galvantula, and attempted to attack Lapis on the grounds that she was an avatar. This, of course, led to her being possessed _again –_

 

* * *

 

“Can we get to the point where you escaped the badfic and ended up in the PPC?” Sarah cut in, stifling a yawn. “We don’t _need_ a summary of every single one of your exploits!”

“Oh, come _on!_ She skipped a lot to save time, didn’t she?” asked Cupid. “It can’t hurt to hear more about her stories!”

“Well, if you want, I can go to the endpoint of the badfic,” said Lapis. “I guess it won’t do me any good to bore you or anything…”

“That would be a good idea,” Ripper agreed.

Sarah glared at the raptor again but didn’t argue. Instead, she returned to her female partner and asked, “How did you end up in the PPC?”

“Well…” the blue-haired girl began to say, but she hesitated. What would they think if she told them _this_ part?

She decided that there was no other choice. “The very last episode published was the one where I earned my first Contest Ribbon…”

 

* * *

 

As Ash and his friends prepared to head off towards the southern jungles of the uncanonical region, Lapis heard a distant voice calling her name. After telling the others to wait for her, she headed off to find the source.

She soon found herself lost in the forest, until someone came up behind her. She turned and yelped in fright.

“Relax, Lapis,” said the wingless Asian teenager. “It’s me.”

“Who are you?” she asked.

“The author. And I’m here to bring you some bad news.”

“B-bad news?! What –”

“I can’t continue this fanfiction anymore.”

She blinked. “What’s a fanfiction?”

“A story that supposedly ties into an existing continuity. You were an original character created for one of these stories. I love you, Lapis, but I’m afraid you can’t stay.”

“B-but why?!”

“I’m starting my final college degree in a few weeks. I have to leave deviantART, and I can’t write Iron/Copper anymore. I have to delete this fanfiction.”

Lapis looked devastated. “You can’t do this! I have _friends_ – ”

“They’ll be fine. I can promise you that. But before I get started, Lapis… Can you create plot holes?”

She thought back to the times when she’d found herself in locations that weren’t clearly defined. She thought of when she had travelled across hundreds of miles of country over the course of a few days. It made no sense… and yet it made sense.

“Yes,” she answered finally.

“Then run,” said the author. “Run fast, run far, and whatever you do, don’t look back.”

She nodded, tears streaming down her cheeks, and bolted. Behind her, the author strode into view of the rest of the group. Within minutes, Ash and Brock had been relieved of their fakemon and returned to their home continuum, as were Aang and Danny. Andy stared at the figure in surprise.

“What are you doing?!” he asked. “Those are my friends! _Our_ friends! Aren’t we one and the same?”

The author’s eyes narrowed in anger, pulling out a kitchen knife. “I’m not you anymore,” he snarled.

Andy’s scream would be the first of many that day.

Even as Lapis ran as fast as she could through the forest, the world already started collapsing around her. Pokémon ran through plot holes back to wherever they came from. Bits, replacements, and generic people all fled for their lives, but they were all powerless to save themselves as the world of the badfic collapsed upon itself. Lapis kept running, her mind making one last wish as the ground crumbled beneath her feet: that she would find a safe place to go.

In the badfic, it had been only a few weeks since she’d left her home. In the timeline of the PPC, it had been five years.

Two agents, one with rainbow hair and another with wings and a fiery tail, found no badfic to enter when they answered their console’s call. The only remnant of this Word World was a girl with blue hair that they found in the halls of the PPC HQ later that day. When they tried to approach her, she screamed, flailed, attempted to run past them and keep running until she could run no more. But exhaustion took over, and after several moments of panic-induced mania, she keeled over in a faint.

And when she opened her eyes, she found herself staring up at the warm light of the Medical ward. She was lost, miserable, and absolutely alone.

 

* * *

 

“So you’re the only remnant left of a badfic that… died, basically?” asked Cupid.

The blue-haired girl was sobbing in earnest now. Still, she looked at him and nodded.

Sarah walked over and sat next to her. “It’s okay to cry,” she said. “We understand. I just wish you’d told us sooner.”

Lapis embraced her partner, and burst into tears – not just Single Tears, but tears of genuine despair. Of fear for being judged for what she once was, of grief for her losses, and of devastation that she had not only been the very type of character that the PPC was openly against, but also that she had nearly killed her friends because of that. In between her sobs, she cried “I’m sorry” too many times to count.

A moment later, Cupid joined her other side and put his wings around them both, his feet dangling over the bed.

It was a long time before the blue-haired girl stopped crying and pleading for forgiveness. The agents all looked around at each other, their expressions wracked with guilt.

“I guess we should all stop arguing now?” Cupid chuckled, wiggling his feet which the minis were now playfully cuffing at beneath him.

“I’m so sorry for what happened today,” said Lapis. “I was careless, reckless, and scared. I too hope this never happens again.”

“Damn right it won’t,” Sarah huffed, but she smiled down at her a moment later. “I still stand by everything I said earlier, but I have to admit – your new hairstyle looks pretty good. And it certainly isn’t eye-searing.”

Lapis smiled too. “Thanks, Sarah.”

“Uh, guys?” Cupid piped up. “Would now be a bad time to tell you that I drove the Super Truck into the DoSAT?”

Sarah laughed. “We can worry about that later,” she replied. “I never got to thank you for bailing us out, actually, so yeah. Thanks, Angel Face.”

Ripper had sat through the entire story and Lapis’ breakdown. He watched the agents with a curious expression, and next thing he knew, his gaze had met Sarah’s.

The Super’s expression turned briefly contemptuous, but a moment later, she sighed. “I guess I should thank you for bringing Cupid back to us as well,” she said.

“It was only fair that I did so,” the _Deinonychus_ replied. “He saved both of your lives, after all. I couldn’t just let you assume the worst.”

“I hope your pack is as cohesive as ours,” Sarah said with a slight smile. “I still think you suck and all that, but I will admit that you’re a heck of a lot nicer than you used to be. Just leave us alone for a good long while, and hopefully, I may be able to forgive you too. Eventually.”

“Us?” asked Lapis. “Does that mean you want me to stay? Even after I told you about who I really was?”

“Of course!” said Cupid. “We’re in this as a trio, aren’t we?”

The blue-haired girl smiled, flashing her shark’s teeth. “Thank you, you two,” she said. “And I hope you’ll be happy to know that I’ll do everything in my power to make up for today henceforth.”

“It’s just a matter of _not_ shredding the Word World to ribbons,” said Sarah. “But no pressure!”

The agents laughed heartily, and even Ripper let out a similar noise from his throat sac.

Panacea spoke up just then. “If you want to go back to your RCs, that would be appreciated,” she said to the agents, though she still smiled at the sight of the residents of RC #333 being reunited. “Lapis still needs time to completely recover.”

The black-haired Super smiled at this. “And after that, she’s gonna be returned to us, right?”

“I’d love that more than anything, I think!” Cupid replied. “I mean, think about it! A drunken angel in a pink toga, a superhero with anger issues, and a bitey blue-haired wet blanket with a missing hand! Ah, what a team we’d make…”

Lapis gave him a half-stern, half-amused look. “Seriously?” she chuckled.

“Oh, absolutely!” the angel agent laughed in response. “Just the three of us, killing badfic together! What can possibly go wrong?”


End file.
